This all has to do with long lost family (a father, stepmother, and 3 sisters) finding me (finding ME, not the other way around) and, well, deciding they didn't have much use for me (it really is that simple, I promise). I should also tell you that I was abandoned by my mother when I was 15. Just up and disappeared...I had no choice but to go to foster care.

I can only imagine the pain you are feeling with the loss of people who are supposed to love and care for you. It must be devastating but you seem to be doing the right things, you mentioned being in therapy and you found PC. People here will listen to you, I have found that here and it does help.

Or how about being on THREE online dating sites for a year and having very few men contact me, only 4 actual dates, only one of which progressed to a second date--after which he decided he "didn't know what he wanted after all." (Turns out I was too fat. I'm 5'10" and a size 16. I'm not THAT big.)

Ok here I have experience and lots of it!! Only difference is I am female and can say I have a wife of 11 years. We did meet online BUT and this is a big BUT, there are alot of people out there that just play with people's emotions. The saying "Been there done that!" Yep a shitload of heartache but eventually I found her, I learned from a few mistakes too.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yes there does have to be some physical attraction and that is different for EVERYONE! I have never looked at whether someone was thin or large, I notice eyes first. I really believe eyes are windows into the soul. A nothing thing I am no stringbean myself, I am not sure what size in women's clothing because well I tend to wear men's!LOL But I will say that I wear a size 50 in pants and damn boobs are about that too..... Something to keep in mind you will meet someone I know I did and I thought I never would.

I haven't had close friends or, really, friends in 10 years. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in 6.

I'll join your club, I don't have friends. When I met my wife I moved to another province away from my brothers and mom. Close friends I definately do not have. I recently met a lady in my building that I get on with very well, I tend to go up to her place to talk about my mental stuff. I have lived in this building for almost 8 years.

I want someone to hold onto me, to make me soup and tell me I'll be okay and that they love me. But there isn't anyone like that. I feel trapped. I feel like there's nowhere to go and no one to turn to.

(((((((((((((((misskeena))))))))))))))))))))) giving you hugs and I see that roadrunner is making the soup. Good thing, I only do the stuff out of the can.

I don't want to feel like this.

Hon everyone here doesn't want to feel what they are feeling that is why we are here. There is great support here and if you ever want to message me to talk, go right ahead.