Ok. So I'm tired of being fat. I'm really sick of it. I feel the need to throw up everything (though I have never actually done it). I want to stop eating again.. But I know my friends/family/discipleship lady willfund out convince me to eat and then I'll gain it all back again!!! Everyone keeps telling me et this do this excercise. What do you think I've been doing the past 6 years of my life? In 16 and 5' 1" 150lbs. I'm sick of this. I hear taller girls talk about how they'd re 100 pounds and blah blah blah. I wish. I want to be 100 pounds. I wantto be light and beautiful and THIN. I dint have an "eating disorder" but I'm obsessed with numbers. I want my weight to go down and I like to see how low my calorie intake can get. I'm sick of six years of diets, crying, being overweight, and feeling fat all the time. I wan to be beautiful. I want to feel small. Not like my huge thighs and stomach that slightly sticks out and my cursed mothers ankles. I need something I can stick to. I feel discouraged. I feel trapped, kill me.