Quick note. Today I was visiting my daughter and grandchildren. My grandson is almost 3, and my granddaughter is 1. My daughter left them with me briefly as she stepped out for a few groceries, and I put them down for their naps. I changed my granddaughter and put her in her crib with her bottle. Then I asked my grandson, who isn't trained yet but he can talk clearly, if he needed to be changed. He didn't answer, and then he fell asleep quickly. I didn't check him or press the issue, because at his age, I was afraid of being misunderstood since I'm not Mommy and he doesn't see me every day. When my daughter came home, I asked her if he was generally aware when he needs to be changed, and she told me, only sometimes. I explained to her that I hadn't checked him, and why.

Obviously given my family background, I am not real sure where the boundaries lie. If my grandson very certainly did need to be changed, and I was there and his mother wasn't, I'd change him. But I didn't feel comfortable making an issue of it, if he wasn't going to be forthcoming. What do you think?