You need to know the answer on the kids. I have a co-worker who married a man with a similar story. He had only one daughter, but refused to have more children. He did not enjoy the child rearing experience with his ex-wife at all, and refused to see how maybe it could be different with someone else.

She was instantly a mom to a girl who was torn between mother and father, and then had to add step-mother. It was a difficult teenage years, and then my co-worker suddenly found herself in her mid-fourties and without children, resenting her husband. Their relationship deteriorated because of all this too.

This is one of those big questions you have to be on the same page from the beginning. No, "Oh, the verdict is still out," no no. It has to be yes or no and if it is "I don't know," then I would be very cautious.