I keep myself from freaking out by repeating in my head "I'm straight" and just overall forgetting the existence of homosexuality. But I still worry about it. Unfortunately, I cannot just continue to always live in ignorance and reality sometimes hits me hard. I was watching television and now I think that I'm in love with one of the female characters. It has me freaking out although I seem calm. But if I was really calm I would be constantly thinking about this and of course I would not be on this site- typing all this out at 4:25am. I'm scared that it feels similar to legitimate crushes I've had on boys in the past but it could very well just be from paranoia. I have a problem with over thinking small things. I'm actually not sure I really have a crush on this person but I don't like the thought of it. But I've been dealing with this whole thing for so long that sometimes I really do believe that this is what I want. Of course, I freak out about those ''feeling okay with it'' thoughts directly after they float through my head. I don't know why exactly, but I don't want to know it I'm Lesbian, Bisexual, or something other than straight. It would seem that I only want to discover that I'm straight and will not be content with anything other than that.
For reasons unknown, I have been concerning myself with other people's sexuality, too. I've noticed as people walk by me I would examine them and judge their sexuality based on how they acted. Why would I place that as any of my business? It does not at all effect me. I feel like a jerk by doing it, too. Another thing relative to this point is that if I see a post in a website or an article in a magazine with the word "gay" or a related title, I feel compelled to read it. It's just hard to ignore for some reason. I've also been freaking out about a movie I saw in English class and I kept staring at the girl's chest! Why would I do that if I wasn't a lesbian? My female teacher also commented on how she was showing quite a bit of cleavage so that makes me feel a bit better... but not by much.
Before I began to doubt myself, I would cheer myself up by thinking about a time in the future where I would be completely cleared of school, with the perfect husband and children. But all the crushes I had now seem like they never happened. They certainly did, but it feels more like a dream or fake. My crushes felt real at the time, but eventually I just gave up on the people I liked. It was usually after finding out that they were in a relationship, or realizing that the possibility of us being together was very low considering we rarely ever spoke. So, my crushes were sort of brief and that also has me worried. Maybe I am a lesbian and maybe those crushes were just confusion. I don't like thinking that. My worry gets worse so easily, too. I state a bunch of things and some comments "Why would you even care if you're bisexual?" and for some reason it's like I just got stamped in the forehead with permanent, bold, letters spelling "GAY" in capital letters. I can't answer that with a proper answer! Actually, I know I'll end up over thinking that question or finding out something I don't want to so I try not to really honestly think about it -But that just makes it sound even more like denial!
I've already forgotten what else I was going to jot down. Your opinion on this though is appreciated. I have posted threads very similar to this and I know how annoying it can be to listen to the same person talk about the same thing continuously, so I'll really try to cut back on posting threads like this. (I annoy myself sometimes!)

In short, I'm worried because a girl called me a lesbian and I took it too seriously. I never questioned my sexuality before that incident and now I'm starting to really be convinced that I'm actually gay.