If attitudes about life & things in life that are compatible & you aren't annoyed by them is a starting place for being interested in the person & a possible relationship. Open communication without any assumptions or hiding of information so that each gets to know each others values & beliefs I believe is the next step because that is where & what trust & respect is built on....is honesty between 2 people.

I do not believe that love even exists at the beginning of a relationship....lust, infatuation yes, but love is something that only truly grows out of trust & respect for each other & common values & beliefs that are shared. Without these things all you have is a shell of a relationship with 2 people trying to gratify themselves & nothing to truly bond them together.

Looking back at my 33 year marriage I can honestly say that I never loved my husband even before we got married. We didn't share the same values or beliefs in what is necessary for a family to be financially successful & when I couldn't make sure everything was ok, he just let everything fall apart. He refused to ever be responsible & definitely refused to be financially responsible. He believed he could & should be able to spend money he didn't have. The worse part was any time he blew it, he refused to admit it & would completely IGNORE any problems that existed including with the IRS.....for over almost a year when I finally found out. I was the only one that always bailed us out of trouble that he got us into......the sad thing is that he didn't even have any mental illness problems until later there was a Dx of ADHD.....but that's NO EXCUSE FOR BEING IRRESPONSIBLE as there are plenty of ADHD people who are successful businessmen & engineers. His attitude was what always got him into trouble on the job....he always knew more than everyone else & if they didn't acknowledge how intelligent he was & gave him the promotion or raise that he thought he deserved, he would get pissy & wonder why he never got anywhere in the companies he worked for.

By the end of the 33 years, my anger toward him blew up so extreme, I would just look at him & see red. It's like the glass that's so full that one more drop makes is overflow Leaving him & moving 2100 miles away is the only thing that saved his life & mine I'm sure. I can't stand to have anything to do with him & being able to be away from him gave me the chance to look back & analyze the marriage & really see what went wrong from even before we got married. What amazes me is that he still sits there in his arrogant world thinking how wonderful & right he is & what a horrible person I am because I refused to continue to tolerate him for the rest of my life

I could write a novel on what destroys a relationship.....not as easy to limit it to what makes it work.