It's tough being tough. It's hard to harden oneself against nasty family and offensive "friends" (who can't possibly be real friends).

Do any of the people you associate with accept you for what you are, how you are, how you feel you want to be? Even if there's only one, that's a real friend and a start. You might want to think about having Thanksgiving with that real friend next year. And finding other real friends.

I'm sure it's really uncomfortable to hang around with people who don't like you as you really are. Do you need that discomfort? As has already been said in this thread, you can't choose your family <sigh>, but you can choose your friends.

You can send your family a message, though, by not showing up next year for the holidays. They'll ask why, probably on the phone, and you can tell them. It's their choice. As you are or not at all. Most families would prefer you as you are rather than not at all.

Take good care of yourself, postposturing!