My Support Forums - View Single Post - What to do when it feels like there's nothing else...

madisgram · Nov 27, 2011, 02:39 PM

so fragile, i sometimes felt like you do now. i learned that the problem for me was that the people in my life-especially family-did not validate me. i distanced myself from them or minimized any conversation with them. in doing so i was protecting my spirit. i made some wonderful friends by choosing carefully and they cared for me and validated me as i did them. we all need that. here's a site you may find useful re validation, etc. i hope it may help you.

Quote:

What Validation Is
To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand them, and finally it is to nurture them.
To validate is to acknowledge and accept one's unique identity and individuality. Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge their feelings, and hence, their individual identity.
When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. We are demonstrating that we will still accept them after they have shared their feelings. We let them know that we respect their perception of things at that moment. We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted.
Sometimes validation entails listening, sometimes it is a nod or a sign of agreement or understanding, sometimes it can be a hug or a gentle touch. Sometimes it means being patient when the other person is not ready to talk.

Painful feelings that are expressed, acknowledged and validated by a trusted listener will diminish.

Painful feelings that are ignored will gain strength. (1)

http://eqi.org/valid.htm#What Validation Is