It took me this long to realize it, I mean i've kinda noticed by certain fimliarities that I saw by either someone else acting almost like a PA (or tech) and me as a patient, or watching others in this situation which made me realize i missed a part of what I used to have in the hospitals...
I certainly don't miss a lot of what went on, and contraband stuff and not having my pets, or my say in much of anything. But I do miss a lot of the things that came with the territory.
It took me years to realize this.. I wonder if i'm just some werid wacky person for actually missing a state hospital! i told my closest friend and she didn't see why on earth anyone would miss such a place.. but.. i do..
And I FINALLY realized this, today when I was doing appartment shopping and it was in a city where I used to live in a state hospital. I even got to get out and ride the busses there so i knew the city well! And back then i was looking for appartments too... but the fimliarity of the previous appartments i looked into of me coming across brought back a fimlair feeling... Then I went to explaining to my parents pretty much how i can't wait to move and if i get my own place i can live and don't have to worry about the approvals of having health care workers coming in to the home during the day (mental and physical), and then i could go to groups and volunteer and all this other stuff that would keep me from having the problem i get when I ever even attempt to live alone. And then i started crying.. I didn't know why at first.. I even told my closest friend that. and I wasn't sure why i was crying, and even if it were happy tears or sad tears. and that i was so confused. Then I got to realizing that it was a little of both... this ideal place i have in my head for my own place, and outside activities and such would mimic a lot of what i liked about the hospitals, and i also missed that. And I pretty much grew up in temporary and full stay mental hospitals since I was about 7yr... so i figure that has something to do with it too.
Has anyone else felt this way? and found a good way to deal with it?