Yup that's true too! lol, like i miss it, but even the thought of going back and living in a hospital makes me cringe and sick to my stomach, and my whole body and mind is like "nuh-uh! no way! we stay on the outside!". .... i guess its kinda like living with my parents. but only "like it" in a very distant relation. There were lots of bad before, and yet i convinced myself its diffrent, just because that's WHAT I WANTED to believe, because i missed the fact of it was one weird little comfort zone, even tho it was a very bad comfort zone, there were still things in it, that i missed. And wasn't getting anywhere else.. Only, that was distorted in what i was thinking and remembering too. I had forgotten quite a large number of things that played into the factor... Then i also convinced myself it would be diffrent this time because I was diffrent. and tho that IS true... just because I am diffrent than before, I didn't realize others had to be diffrent too, for things to have really been changed as i had wanted them to be.