personally i'm wondering for my own behalf, what makes me believe what i want to believe, even tho if i were to really think clearly i would of known what i was seeing and wanting to believe was only just that... wanting to believe it. and it was all an illusion. This has been a lesson i have learned more than once this year... And yet I still don't really recognize when I'm doing that, until it's too late. because while i'm planning and such, it still seems very realistic to me, and theres others actions and words that feed the wanting to believe part. but in the end i find out i just relearned a lesson that i thought i just learned previously... multiple times now.. How do I not do that and learn what's me wanting to believe, and whats really true?

Also im also wondering what makes someone try to get you away from the best situation you can be in, by promising better with them, and giving all the evidice that would suport them doing it(by helping you with things that they say they would help with more if they could, but with you being so far away they cant do anything more (which is true)) but.. once i believe it, even though i know how they previously were... I still learn that they weren't being true. But in the mind of someone else, what would cause them to be like "oh how could they just leave you there in the ER like that?! how do they expect you to walk home when it's over a 100 miles!? I wish you were here, cause i wouldn't let that happen. if you were here with me, i would take you AND bring you back, and visit anytime you got sick." But as soon as they get you away from where you atleast had a ride to there, they are like "well call 911, what do you expect me to do?! i mean gawd! you really ARE a blonde! I have to fix myself some dinner! I dont have time for this! You better find yourself a way back home too, cause i'm not coming to get you!" ... then also a simlair incident that runs in my family is they tend to seem believeable, and i want to believe them, so i leave what isn't the best but i'm content in... to go to be with the promises of what i believed to be true and better than the situation i was in previously.. but just left out on the streets and on my own and they dont care once i'm away from the previous place where it wasn't perfect, but wasn't bad either. Along with understanding how not to repeat this mistake over and over, I'd also like to understand what makes someone be like that above, and why, and what their intentions really are. Because once i try to go back or move on, they repeat the same thing, and also dont want me to leave the "Streets" so to speak.