Wow, in reading about your situation, I got an insight that I never had before. Some years before my father died, my sister started telling me he was senile. I didn't agree. Seeing as how I spent years working in Geriatrics, I am professionally trained to evaluate for cognitive decline in the elderly. My father was never senile. I really never got why my sister was pushing that idea on me, and I really just didn't pay much attention to her. I thought it was her earnest opinion, and that she was just mistaken.

Reading your post, Open Eyes, caused a light bulb to suddenly go on in my head. This never even occurred to me before. When an adult child wants control over what a parent has, wouldn't it serve that agenda to be able to say that the parent is not truly competent. OMG! I'm so naive that I never even thought of that. Plus, I really trusted my sister.

I share this here just to affirm to you that you are possibly dealing with a sibling who has a way more fully thought out master plan than what you may have suspected before. Though you seem to be catching on at present. Once a son or daughter gets that P.O.A., they live in fear of ever losing it. If the parent develops dementia, then they can relax more and feel the P.O.A. is securely theirs. No longer do they have to fear the parent rescinding it, but they do worry about a sibling contesting their stewardship of the parent's resources. So protecting their power becomes a big priority.

My sister actually has been pretty decent about how she has handled a lot. Unfortunately, she was so paranoid about anyone challenging her. Now I understand more -- more about my own family, and more about life in general -- specifically, issues of power.

Someone above brought up the notion of bullying. Very astute. Isn't PTSD a result of having suffered the experience of feeling powerless. How human beings react to power -- having it, losing it, wanting it -- is really something important to think about.