I have stayed away for the past day and a half. I wanted to sort out my thoughts, feelings, etc.
In short, the past 36 hours have been a huge learning experience.
Some people will never "get me"....and guess what, I will not "get" some people. Not because I don't try or they don't try. Mental illnesses are not only frustrating to the individual trying to cope, but never appear quite the same way in 2 people. Kind of like a snowflake. No 2 are alike.
Ok...so here is my point:
I have issues. If I didn't I would not have come to PC trying to field out support. I do not always think clearly. I sometimes get pretty angry right off the bat. It isn't that I mean to, or that I want to be bullheaded or go against any support or encouragement being offered to me.
It's just that, I suffer from mood swings, from feelings of abandonment. I have a difficult time expressing anything other then anger.
And, all I can say is I am working on things despite the belief perhaps by some that I am not. But that is okay for them to believe that, or to see it differently then it really is. I know where I have come from. I know how far I have traveled to be where I am today.
So, the lesson>>> We all have issues that make us deal with things differently. We all do not see the same things.
Whether I have true or imagined abandonment in my life, it is how I feel at the time. I wish I didn't have those issues.
I want us to each look within and see the beauty of ourselves because we are all different. And, I am going to take the past few days here and dwell on hoping we can commune with each other in the best way possible. Forgoing what we think about how a person should act, speak, feel, think etc...but just love and encourage and "be here."
I will try this. Will you?