I don't have any suggestions, I just wanted to say that I can relate to dreading holidays,especially Christmas.

I find it kind of fascinating when people talk about holidays as a child because I don't remember any. My husband will tell holiday stories from his childhood and sometimes I feel a little envious that he has those good memories.

Holidays are hard. I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in, like I'm not really participating. Like I'm just going through the motions. I don't feel any joy or pain, I feel nothing. And it really sucks because I am missing out.