sofragile do you see a therapist? i found it was helpful to learn the real me and get rid of my false beliefs about self. the ones who don't validate u are also reinforcing your lack of self worth. it causes a vicious cycle that keeps you in that mindset. i do hope you r seeing a T. i found i needed someone to unsnarl my issue with this. i couldn't do it alone. it was ingrained by yrs. of dealing with this. now i have means to remind myself i am worthy of respect by others and how to nurture my spirit.
we all need ppl to validate us. but i might add the first one is you to self validate yourself. here's more on that topic. i hope it can be helpful.
Quote:
False Beliefs
When our minds immediately come up with negative or irrational thoughts in response to situations, and we then respond emotionally (often inappropriately and self-defeatingly were we to look objectively at the situation), these thoughts are based on deeper-lying beliefs or assumptions about ourselves, others, and situations. While growing up we learned these beliefs from our parents, teachers and peers, as well as from other authority figures, and we may have absorbed such beliefs from the conditioning of the media - TV and films, song lyrics, and so on. You may have been told "Big boys don't cry," "Nice girls don't get angry," or learned "It's risky to trust people," "It's very hard to be alone"... the possible list is endless.
You may have developed an attitude about yourself as a result of being frequently criticized (thus "I'm worthless"), ignored (thus "My needs don't matter"), or rejected (thus "I'm not worthy of being loved.") You may then "live out" these false beliefs to the point where you act in ways that confirm them, and then others treat you accordingly. Like computers, individuals become "programmed" and the false beliefs we hold become self-fulfilling prophecies.
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there's more ... http://www.trans4mind.com/positive/positive22.shtml
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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