Yes, I have asked him why he is giving me round-about answers. I have also asked him if he realized he is doing this and if there is a reason he has changed his way of communicating.

The kids have also asked him why he seems so angry without provocation.

I have also chosen quiet moments when things were okay to tell him it is good seeing him "be his old self" and asked him if he realized how difficult he is at other times.

He is fully aware of what he is doing and saying, it appears.

When questioned about some capricious action he has taken (for ex. spending money for something we had not discussed when the $$ was not in the budget to spend on that item/repair) . . . he uses strategies such as finger-pointing, changing the subject, turning the tables, blame shifting, etc. rather than admit what he did, take responsibility, apologize - whatever. In the past, he NEVER employed such tactics. But in the past, he would never have done the things he does now, lol.

The change in my husband is dramatic. He has been the type of person others look up to - very stable, measured, considerate, dependable. school board, church lay minister, chairman of professional societies, etc - the person everyone looked up to, including myself and the kids. A good man in public and the same person at home - no onstage behavior wh/ is often seen w/ people who are in the public eye.

He has withdrawn f/ his public duties bit by bit over the last 10 years - said he had done his duty - and it was someone else's turn, which wasn't surprising - he wanted more free time at home. He is a Type A personality and an ENTJ if anyone out there is interested in personality typing.

He has been assessed for depression in the last three years and supposedly he is not depressed. He is definitely angry that life threw him a curve ball with his health. But as far as classic depression - it certainly isn't manifesting in that way. He seems to focus on everyone else's behavior - attempting to micro-manage and criticize and often, playing the martyr.

He will do tasks he isn't expected to do - and then get angry about "having" to do them. Our adult children have mixed feelings about spending time w/ us b/c they so often get accosted about some task he felt they should have performed that he did himself - without asking for assistance - and then berates everyone for later - and pouts about.

Can bitterness and anger alter how someone reacts to everything in life? It is as though he takes pleasure in creating drama and seeing us all hurt and upset, as if he wants to punish us.