It's hard when our SI hurts those we love, and so we lie to those around us. We hate to admitt it to ourselves, or to those we love. But eventually they find out, and then it's out of our hands, they try to help us, and try to support us.
All they can do is try and help. And it fustrates some, because they don't understand our reasons to keep doing what we are doing.
Good luck.