Well, ok, I'll mention what it is without going into detail, and if anyone wants more details, then I'll share more, but if not, that's fine, too. I understand it's scary. And if the post/thread gets pulled, I will understand that, too.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've had a fear of nuclear war. I know everyone fears this, but I get overwhelmed by the thoughts sometimes. On Hannity & Colmes, a guy predicted (a guess, not a psychic prediction, or anything like that) that a terrorist will set off a nuclear bomb in a U.S. city within the next two years.

I have nightmares about nuclear war and the end of the world sometimes. These dreams disturb me, and I try to forget them (as I do with other disturbing dreams), but it's harder to get images out of your head than thoughts. I was raised with Christian beliefs, including things in Revelations about the "End Times" (another thing I obsess about equally...doesn't have to be a nuclear war scenario). I'm no longer Christian, but those thoughts are still there. Other religions and cultures have predictions about the End of the World, which is really what this post is about (not nuclear war, specifically), and that terrifies me.

I know the end of the world isn't literal in some beliefs, as in the world will no longer exist or be mostly destroyed, but it worries me.

There's a prediction, for instance, about the last year and the last pope. I won't say what that year is (yet), so as not to upset anyone. I don't constantly think, Oh, god, we're going to die! when those dates come up...I just become more aware, like pricking up your ears to listen for a dangerous sound. Predicted dates have come and gone, and we're still here; there's comfort in that. So, I don't assume any prediction is correct. I know that many predictions are worded vaguely and can be interpreted in many ways. Of course, some of these have been interpreted to see 9/11 as a sign. I don't know what to think.

I can't seem to stop worrying, even though I try not to. I want to live my life without worrying about something I can't control, but I find any instability can trigger a panic attack. I don't go on rides at amusement parks because the speed scares me; I get thoughts of earthquakes or tremors and worry one will happen and I'll brace myself, worried a quake will start and I'll panic; if I start worrying about having a heart attack or something serious happening, I'll start getting panicky if I don't get control of those thoughts quickly. It's like I have to be in control all the time, which isn't logical if you knew me. I eat like I want to die (well, I am finally getting back to eating healthier), don't exercise, and don't take care of myself.

Well, I'll leave it at that. I have a lot of email to get through and other things to do tonight. Thanks, though.