Growing up, I LOVED Christmas. Now, I seem to just dread it. I am a Christian and should look forward to it, but I don't. I am married (nearly 21 years) and we have six children. It's stressful trying to buy Christmas presents for all these kids, especially when they're very ungrateful and act like they're entitled to expensive gifts. We're NOT rich. And, now, my husband has just been diagnosed with heart disease (he's 44) and had three stents put in last Monday. So, now, I have to deal with this plus the ungrateful kids, who don't seem to give a rat's ***** about either of us. The kids do nothing but fight with each other and destroy the house. We have a very nice house but it stays a mess all the time because it's just impossible for me to keep up with cleaning behind 7 people (the oldest is married) on a daily basis. My husband has never been very supportive in disciplining the kids and making them help out, etc. He wasn't made to do anything when he was a kid, so he doesn't make our kids do much at all. So, when there's a fight (and I mean a physical fight!) among our kids, he just acts like it's no big deal while my heart rate is through the roof and I'm yelling and such. I've contemplated ending it all but don't have the nerve. And, this is crazy, but I feel like I should get the house in order and clean before I do it. I mean, I don't want people coming to offer condolences to have to see my messy house. Makes no sense, does it? I'm just sick of it. And, my husband says I'm just not happy with anything and never have been. He looks at me and thinks I'M an ingrate. But, I'm not, really... I just can't handle all of this. My parents can't be bothered to even visit us and they live only 90 miles away. My in-laws are 10 years older than them and we see them more often (also 90 miles away). Gosh, I'm rambling... (sorry). I'm sitting in bed crying right now because the 17 year old daughter came home from work (Sonic) and immediately started a fight with our 10 year old son who was asleep on the sofa because he left water in the floor of the downstairs bathroom when he took a shower. Instead of just cleaning it up with a towel, she felt the need to pick a fight with a sleeping child and he kicked her and she slapped him in the face and he says she pinched him on the shoulder, etc. Husband sits and says nothing. It's always left up to me to do anything. I'd like to kick her out of the house when she hits 18, but I'm sure he won't hear of it. Gosh... where do I go to resign??