I'm not sure what to do. No matter what decisions I make or do or say, I seem to be wrong. I'm not nice enough in the tone of my voice, my coworker is constantly bad mouthing me to my boss and now to the area manager. I used to be this reasonably confident person who believed in herself and now I don't even want to have the keys to the office. My professional life is now rubbish. Tomorrow, there is a good chance I will lose the only job I've ever liked because I'm WRONG.
I sit at home when I'm not at work with nothing to do. I'm sad and lonely and have nobody to talk to. I'm starting to climb the walls. I tried to go back and go volunteer work but either the roles available conflict with my work (eg conflict of interest) or there are no spots for me. My family is planning a huge BBQ where everyone is going to be there except me because I have to work. I miss out. I miss out on going home for Christmas (again) as well because my work won't give me leave at this time of year even for a few days. My housemates don't want to hang out with me. They prefer my other housemate who is much younger, thinner and prettier.
I've had enough of my life and I just don't know what to do anymore. I doubt ever decision that I make. My relationships with men are non-existent. In fact the last one tried to leave me standing by the side of the road crying (only didn't because I refused to get out of the car). All I want to do is cry and go to sleep. Is it always going to be this way ?