'Cause I'm starting to think that depression is like the friend that moves into your basement, and you sort of forget they're there except when they take your food or watch TV all night, or track mud in, and all of a sudden, it's been two years, and they're still there.

Well, I've been feeling depressed since I was 7. I'm 23 now. Yeah, it gets better sometimes. But then I end up feeling awful again. I took the depression screening quiz for the first time in 2006 and got 43. Took it yesterday and got 71. Er... I've been diagnosed with depression for...4 years now? I think? Maybe 5 years already, I don't know. I've been in therapy 4 times, too, but none of it has ever really helped. Never been on medication. Everyone tends to focus on my anxiety and PTSD problems, and just...ignores the depressive feelings entirely, unless I admit to having self-injurious or suicidal thoughts, upon which I'm treated like I'm about to throw myself off the edge of the world. (Which is very annoying because I know when I'm in actual danger of harming myself, and when I just have the feelings. Someone freaking out about it...is really aggravating.)

Just...wish it would ever actually go away for good. My mood does lift, it's not all a miasma of despair. But I always crash back down, and I'm really tired of it. No matter what I do.