I would try to see it as her giving you a safe place to have those feelings in, without worrying about what her feelings are about it. It's not "crap" - you are really kind of lucky to have clean unconfused space where just your own emotions exist? Yet it's STILL complicated! You STILL question what all is going on - I don't mean that in a bad way at all! You just still have feelings about it, and AT THE END OF THE DAY, as they say, whether she's a warm huggy T or a chili and frosty T, we are still not going home with them, so what does their mood or temperament matter? As she is going on a trip, yes, you can totally expect yourself to be weird, now and when she gets back, but these are also great opportunities for growth. So I would say she is being careful not to cause you more "breakage" before her trip, but also to give you the space to change if that's what is happening, it's your call. It's a delicate balancing act for them? You sound like you are making great progress in attachment.