Hello hankster! Thank you for reading my story. I am now 23 and am currently struggling trying to deal with with my memories of this..it's as if they are haunting me now. Yeah that kinda gets under my skin too. It's like he did nothing but I think he carries around guilt because our relationship is awkward. I don't think I've ever had a full conversation, shoot probably barely even a short one with him since. I'm living at home with all my family members/parents&siblings. so that mean I see my brother everyday..I barely look at him. I just want to leave here but I'm stuck unfortunately. My thoughts waking up this morning were so dark on the edge of offing myself to feel free, but I know I'd never carry that out but the thought of being rid of all this is sometimes nice to imagine.