Wow, so many insightful answers -- posts i need to read through and really think about, and respond to.
About 2 hours ago, i remembered something hugely significant. Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my t's mother's death!!! I feel like such a piece of crap now! It was totally insensitive to have sent those emails to my t about "my" disappointment! I'm a rotten client! I emailed her that I remembered this, and that it was so insensitive, and i'm so sorry. But she didn't reply.
I'm supposed to have a session tomorrow, and then she's gone on vacation to Panama and i won't see her for 3 weeks. I don't even feel like going tomorrow. I feel horrible for being so selfish. . .