Hello Darkh.,
I'm sorry you home situation is that way. Even though alanon is for folks living with alcaholics and addicts I wonder if they could help you. There are usually meetings around major cities. I think you need emotional support that should be coming from your husband. I think they could provide you with that or else help you to find some emotional support and productive advice.
I've been married for 10 years and I have known my wife for 20. She has had times when she couldn't be there for me and I know what that feels like. There has probably been times when I wasn't there for her. I know I'm imperfect and I've learned that she is imperfect also. We have learned to communicate with each other though, and we work through our disagreements and find comprimises and solutions. There have been times when outsiders will feel they know enough about our relationship to make inappropriate suggestions that a therapist should probably make. There are a lot of armchair psychologists out there, my advice is to beware of them. I believe there is a reason therapists need licenses and lots of college. Inappropriate advice can cause needless damage.
I bounce ideas of others, like therapists or people at meetings, when considering major decisions. Don't suffer alone and don't punish yourself about anything. Life is too short, there are enough abusive people out there, don't beat yourself up. Stick up for yourself and empower yourself. Ask for help from someone with training. Don't allow yourself to be afraid of speaking up about your feelings. Punishing yourself will solve nothing as well as affect your son, whom I'm sure you adore.
Its always darkest before the dawn.

Peace, A.