Here's the scoop....I threatened D's life the other day. I had a very violent episode, and didn't know who D was at all. I didn't recognize her. All I knew was that I had to get away, and whoever she was needed to get out of my way, or I was going to hurt her.

I've had episodes like this at work, although not to that extreme. I was able to come up with a facade of sorts, to mask my temper so that customers would not retaliate. It has worked, but I can't keep that up for long periods of time like I used to. The stress is getting to me.

Talking to my therapist today, she gave D some ammo should this happen again. She is to call the sheriff's department, and explain the situation to them. They will take me to one of the mental health facilities nearby, where I can work through the episode, and they can evaluate me, and contact my therapist.

I have an appointment set up for the 27th to see the psychiatrist. He'll let me know what other meds I can take, if any. I also have appointments set up for once a week on Tuesdays, five total so far, with my therapist.

I am frightened. I have not had episodes like this since I was a little girl. It's like I black out, or something. I don't recognize where I am, or people I know...and yes, I can and will hurt someone if it continues like this. I can't let that happen.

I...will....not...give...up.