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I don't think it is possible to get her to think sensibly about this or much else. You may have learned your way out of emotional decision making but your mum hasn't and more than likely never will.
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I think you're right. It's hard to accept, but I need to adjust my expectations. Mom can be more reasonable depending on the day, stressors, alignment of the planets... I just have to hope she's having a good day when it comes time to make a decision.
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I do think you might need to reconsider purchasing a house with your mother given this kind of a divide between you.
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She's the one buying the house.
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This could well be a wake up call for you to think hard if this plan is actually going to be able to work.
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It has to work because I don't have any other options.
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However this unfolds I pray nothing comes in the way of your relationship with your mother.
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Thank you
I'm used to tension in our relationship, but I wouldn't want something as materialistic as a house to destroy it.
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It does seem a little crass worrying about the worth of your possible inheritance of a house after your mother dies, when your mother is buying it for herself, now!
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Yeah, I thought that comment might come across as crass and I'd considered deleting it, but I've realized that perfectionism is a major impetus behind my social anxiety. I need to let others see me in a less than flattering light; I believe it's an important aspect of recovery. But, getting topical once more, my family has a very pragmatic approach to finances that's probably a little unusual in our culture. My mom wouldn't be offended in the slightest if she read my comment about the house and my future inheritance - she would think it's smart long-range planning. It's smart when others do it
The house is technically "ours", by the way. My mom is purchasing a larger house than she needs because her kids are struggling financially and, on a practical level, it benefits her to have others around to do housey things. She's made it clear that the house will belong to all of us.
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It sounds like you might be going a bit too far in your "logical" decision making and are no longer enjoying your choices in life? Don't forget that emotions include "Joy" and you don't want to let that one go!
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Are choices supposed to be joyful? I think if you make the right ones, joy is the natural outcome. I don't think the process itself is supposed to be fun...I'm not sure about that.
Thank you for sharing your feedback