Don't be ashamed of who you are. Some people want snappy answers and quick decisions and some people need more time to formulate their thoughts and need to research in order to make decisions. As has been said, take a breath and don't let someone else's controlling nature get the best of you. If they ask you something you can't answer in a second flat, just tell them you don't know and that they should go Google it since they like the internet so much. What is up with all that internet business anyway? As for dinner, the two of you could sit down and formulate a menu plan you can follow of things you both want for each day of the week. Someone made a good point about the pleasing aspect... I for one am very empathic and sometimes might be called a people pleaser. I am often willing to sacrifice my own needs for someone else's. I really do get just as much satisfaction out of fulfilling my own needs as I do those of people I care about. That is just the way I am. For instance, I turned down a promotion at work once because my friend and co-worker who was also vying for the position just became a father and needed the stable hours the new job afforded. I really felt good about letting him take the job even though I hated my current job with a passion. I find a lot of people just don't get this level of altruism. Likewise, maybe you are confused about your thought processes because you don't see them as having a rhyme or reason. You were willing to give up the last pieces of bread because you really want them for yourself AND you want him to have them too. But he finds this concept to be baffling. Hopefully I didn't confuse you more with this. Point is... learn about who you innately are and you just might find the key to why you think and behave the way you do. This can help your self esteem immensely.