Ugh... stupid Christmas tree is up now. Constant reminder of the stupid holiday. I want to disappear. I don't want to think about or deal with christmas.

I'm so frustrated and anxious and worried about everything right now. I want to cut just so I don't have to think about it for a while.

I can't take this anymore. I can't handle being me. I don't like me. I'm a horrible mom, a horrible person. I give up