Thank you; I really appreciate this. It all feels so strange right now. I think I am somewhat co-conscious while writing, and when the voices are replaying themselves in my head. I mean, I can have conversations and stuff. But in the therapy situation the emotions seem to run so high I lose that element of control. It's better than it was - the memories which were replaying were almost hysterical formless ones. Everything got out of control in that, and there wasn't anyone then who seemed to be able to help me ground myself as my new T can. So maybe there is hope that shula and I will find some common ground and space to share in T's office.
thank you.