First things first, can you get in to see your doctor ASAP? When it comes to dealing with mental health issues it's important to prioritize, and whatever is having the greatest impact on your emotional state gets precedence. If you're experiencing suicidal ideation, you need to get on an antidepressant immediately. Ideally, you would start counseling ASAP, too.

Can you think of your recovery in a series of stages? Like, "today I'm going to call the doctor" "today I'm going to get medication I need to alleviate this depression" "today I'm going to find a counselor", and so on. You *will* feel better soon, and you will get the help you need, you just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

And keep posting