That can be a larger problem than you might realize in THEIR relationship between each other.....even if he's not abusive.....it can definitely cause some serious resentment on your mother's part.

I know as parents, we don't always let our children in on all the serious relationship problems that are going on but it doesn't stop the bad reaction that one parent can have because of those problems. Then sadly, some parents decide to stay together until the kids are out of the house but the yelling doesn't stop because the relationship problem usually is just getting worse & worse.

Your parents could use some good marriage counseling.....but I know in my marriage....that didn't help. Our problems were financial issues & my husband's lack of being willing to be responsible even though he held the same engineering career that I did. I know from the beginning of our marriage that we were always having disagreements about things that our daughter knew nothing about & it was impossible to hold back how I felt at times. My husband was a nice person & a good father.....but he was a horrible husband.....something my daughter couldn't possibly understand....& it wasn't something that I even felt was something she needed to understand because he was a good father & she didn't have to put up with the husband things that I did.

Even to this day after I finally left him, I still don't say anything that would let her know what a bad husband he really is.....except when I did mention the year he ignored the IRS about the back tax mistake he made. She still doesn't know that my anger was because he was too arrogant to ask for help & always thought he knew everything at the husband level.

What I'm trying to say is that there might be a lot of bad things going on in their marriage that has built up your mother's anger toward your father over the years & it's not easy to NOT react to even the littlest thing when the build up has been so great over the years.

I know how hard the yelling was on our daughter especially because there was no way of her knowing or understanding or that I even wanted her to know what a bad husband her dad was because he was a good father & for her that was all that was necessary for her to know. I know you are in a bad place with your mother yelling in that way, but I doubt that if your mother didn't have something seriously wrong going on with their marriage, she most likely wouldn't be acting the way she does toward your dad.