Sorry you are having such a rough time of things. Glad you have the job now--gives you something to look forward to, even if it is scary. At least something is moving in the right direction, and you seem in touch with yourself and what's what. I think that's positive too. Hang on to what you can and don't mess with what you can't. I, too, have difficult siblings so I can relate. It's taken me many years to get on a better footing with them. Like you, I don't expect too much and take what I get and accept that. You have yto do with what you are given, don't you?

Keep in touch and know we are pulling for you to feel better.