Hi to you both,

I've never been an online addict but my father was a daily drinker for 20+ years and eventually the booze stopped solving his problems and he awoke to find himself divorced from my mom after 18 years of marrige and alienated from his children and in a large amount of debt with a horrible economy and a changing business climate(early 80s) and he didn't have the tools he needed to cope and he ended his life at 42. My mother struggled with bipolar and alcohol and pills but she has been clean for 20+ years and med compliant. I had an affair with drugs and alcahol throughout my teen years and then bounced in and out of 12 step programs till now. This time, I've been clean over a year, I feel its different. The compulsion to use drugs has left and I've even quit smoking cigerettes for 6 months now. I've been a pack and a 1/2 a day smoker since I was 18.
I wish I had a silver bullet that would help you with your addicted husband but I don't think there is an easy answer.
It sounds hopeful that you both had a good day recently. YAY! I think he could probably use to know that that time that you spent with him was special. Addicts, invariably, have a poor self image that they use their addiction to help correct. Unfortunately for them and everyone around them, it never works. They always get into more and more trouble until they are forced by their overwelming problems to face their addiction. It is always sad and heartbreaking.
If its at all possable, without puting youself or your children at risk, have some compassion for him. Noone chooses to be an addict. People just use whatever tools and skills they possess to fix their problems. Try to help him find new tools and skills to fix the problems he is using his online addiction to solve. I wouldn't recomend using guilt as a weapon or a tool to pursuade him to change though. He is probably aware, maybe just subconsiosly, that he is hurting you and the kids already and that might be one reason he escapes to his online world. Addicts have enough guilt, usually, and heaping more on them will not help them to recover.
I think you also need to find some emotional support for yourself because I don't believe he will be able to provide you with all that you need until he gets this under control. I think you can help him by managing your own life and emotions and then maybe your stability could give him som courage to face his addiction. You can't "be there" for him or anyone unless you have your own emotions and life under control sufficiantly.
Be grateful he isn't on "hard" drugs or hanging around dangerous people like addicts often do. As far as the "online groupies" go, there are always going to be available willing women (or men) around online or in the real world. Tell him your feelings about that. My wife tells me I can look but I can't touch and I have always been faithful to her wishs. If she is tired or not feeling well, I take care of business myself. I haven't always had a sex partner and I know how to survive without one. We do have a healthy and satisfying sex life and we don't feel the need to keep secrets, or at least I don't with her. We help each other through life we make each others life a bit easier. Still, life has its challenges but I will take these challenges over the challenges of being alone anytime.

I hope this works out for you and that maybe I am able to help a bit.

Peace, A.