I believe almost doesn't count except in horse shoes and hand grenades.

For me, people win or they do not, they die or they do not, they get an "A" or they do not, etc. It is not that I am a perfectionist or into all-or-nothing dichotomies or believe that such scary experiences cannot be behavior changing and influential in our future choices, but I try to resist the "if only", "what if", or guilt/miracle false thinking that can go along with them.

What happens, happens. If you had not called for help, your brother would probably have drowned but that would not have been your fault or responsibility. It was an accident that your brother fell into the water; no one meant for him to and, in many ways, you could not necessarily have kept him from doing so (he was probably too big and heavy for you to have physically stopped him if he decided to go down to the dock anyway, despite your "telling" him not to). It was his own inattention and failure to think things through that caused him to fall into the water.

Danger surrounds us constantly; we only have the illusion of safety from our lifestyles and culture. We have seen how hurricanes and cyclones, etc. can wipe our lovely brick houses off the map better than the wolf blowing down the 3 little piggies houses! Earthquakes, fires, crossing the street, going to sleep and having the furnace malfunction; all can get us killed. I remember the east coast earthquake we had this summer; my husband was in bed over my head and I finally ran outside because he weighs an enormous amount, we have a heavy, king-sized bed and this house isn't the best-built dwelling I've been in! I could imagine the bed, with my husband on it, crashing through the ceiling and crushing me.

I believe near-death experiences are similar to my imagining the bed crashing through the ceiling during the earthquake. It didn't so I would not say, "I almost died!" but not dying from any event is equal to me.

All of us will watch young children near water, maybe because of your story, Melissa, and I'm sure your brother is grateful you pulled him out of the path of the idiot white car driver but there might come a day when your brother will be in harm's way and you won't be able to help, whether you are there next to him or not. Do not waste your time feeling guilty for not saving him. That is ultimately his job, saving himself if it is possible.