Quote:
Originally Posted by lad007
"Well sure a partner that is willing to provide support and encouragement is great, but another person can not cure your mental health issues, any more than they could cure diabetes or a heart condition. It's a medical condition. Explain it that way."
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Actually, that's the first thing I did (though I used measles as the example... don't know why...). I think he understood in part, but I guess there's always a bit of people that thinks mental issues are different, somehow "curable" through talking, and that there's a little bit of therapist in them that's going to help somehow. Really I want him to just be there not to know every detail of my problem... I think he'll understand that someday. But given how hurt he can get over this, I just wanted to know that it was the right thing to draw a line there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
"Assuming that someone else wants you or needs help (just because you feel you would need help in a situation does not mean another person feels that way!) is pretty much boundary crossing."
"His thinking you need his help is not helping him understand himself or others and how best to serve. It's an unconscious ego trip that can harm his own character (if he gets in the habit of it) and is not helping you."
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I think it would be wrong of me to think he's doing it as an ego trip, though I know feeling less of a person because you can't help another is related to your ego, I think in his case it's mostly related to his view on the universe. 'You help as an automatic response'. But I have to agree with your husband's 'eye opener' statement about crossing boundaries - that's exactly what it feels like. Of course, some people don't believe you should have those boundaries in the first place, but I'm not one of them, not yet at any rate. So thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
"And there are some things that you just WANT to keep to yourself. If you give up everything to someone, you lose a part of yourself."
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That has been my view for so long! Those exact words. It's hard to explain to someone who believes openness is the ideal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amity
"You are lucky to have a partner who wants to help you out of your problems.See, he confided in you about his feelings & you appreciated it.You have always kept your issues to yourself,& are not used to vocalizing them--this too adds to depression."
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: ) I don't ever want to sound like I don't appreciate him being there, I do! And thank you for the journal link, it is very interesting. Don't worry, I don't think the world is a cruel place... not all the time. Otherwise I wouldn't keep finding people who care. And forums like this wouldn't exist.