I am so sorry but I hear your pain. I cycle up and down a lot, and some days the pain seems like it will never end. There are a lot of us on this forum who really care and I pray that you will find comfort and healing here. It seems that the only way out of depression is through it. In facing my pain head on better days do come. Maybe not soon enough for my liking. Be good to yourself and take care of yourself. You are special and you are loved.