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would call in sick to work, and would spend the absolute minimum amount of time with me that he had to. Sometimes he would come home from work, eat as fast as he could, then say "I got a dungeon run tonight!" and run upstairs and slam the door. I wouldn't see him again until the next day when it was the same thing. The worst was how I would hear him laughing and having a great time with these online "friends". If I went up there and asked him something (like what he wanted for dinner), he would SCREAM at me to leave him alone and he didn't care what I made.
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- This is very similar, yes. He doesn't scream at me, sometimes he's fine with me being in the room. But he can get very irritated and just want me out of the way, he does get mad if I'm hanging around "spying" on him. >.>
brookwest - First: congratulatons on all of your success! That is wonderful news!
And everything you've said is so helpful. I do feel compassion for him. I don't want him to feel guilty. I see him in there. He does come out of the shell (like yesterday.) I honestly believe that he believes he is doing this for us. That he's going to get this pro status and make a lot of money. Like I said he has ADD really bad. But, I would not be surprised to learn he also has bipolar as well (his mother has bipolar 1.) I know he has low self esteem, so do I. I always try to give him a boost of confidance because I'm very compassionate person and I hate thinking other people feel the way I do.
I don't give up on people very easily. I just want him to come back. I'm so scared he is going to disappear.
He's not actually mean to us, never physically either, so we're not in danger or anything. He's just not there. It is hard for me with my bipolar. I'm untreated, sadly. So I have to struggle on my own. I'm not self-medicating, either. I just kind of force my way along. I do my best. Like I said, I'm an only child. I can do the "alone" thing. But I don't do the emotionally cut off thing very well.
That's where I'm struggling. I don't do the "purposefully being left out thing" very well either, I have a history with that due to my family, ex-friends etc.
As for the women thing, I get it if he looks at porn, that's fantasy, whatever. (although he used to be 100% anit porn, completely nuked his brother's hard drive due to porn, this is when he was 24 years old, so it is weird.) But, when I am not okay with it is girls that he is actually talking to. That is not okay and that's what I meant. I don't think he would initiate it but I would not be shocked at all for one of these girls to call him on skype and be sitting there naked or something on their web cam (we dont' have a web cam ourselves, thank heavens).... They all have very high egos and try way to hard to get noticed by the males and are really seeking attention...
I just need to figure out how to get through this without my own illness shutting me down.