Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
I would try to see it as her giving you a safe place to have those feelings in, without worrying about what her feelings are about it. It's not "crap" - you are really kind of lucky to have clean unconfused space where just your own emotions exist? Yet it's STILL complicated! You STILL question what all is going on - I don't mean that in a bad way at all! You just still have feelings about it, and AT THE END OF THE DAY, as they say, whether she's a warm huggy T or a chili and frosty T, we are still not going home with them, so what does their mood or temperament matter? As she is going on a trip, yes, you can totally expect yourself to be weird, now and when she gets back, but these are also great opportunities for growth. So I would say she is being careful not to cause you more "breakage" before her trip, but also to give you the space to change if that's what is happening, it's your call. It's a delicate balancing act for them? You sound like you are making great progress in attachment.
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Hi Hankster,
I sort of "went off" and got off topic in my reply to you. Sorry about that. You're right, that it's an opportunity for growth. Over time, my t has given me tips and taught me skills to cope. So this will give me the opportunity to see how i can manage using them. Problem is. . .I feel like I've had too many "opportunities" to cope lately. This year, t has taken 9 weeks off, so I've had to miss that many sessions. She's never taken so much time off before. So it has been constant separation triggers. I know it's not "really" about my t -- but about what's not resolved from my childhood with mom. But in the moment, when t leaves, it "feels" the same way, which is anxiety producing, embarrassing, and frustrating!!
I'm hoping it goes OK when i see t today and that when i leave her office, things feel settled in my heart and stomach. I couldn't stand for things to feel uncomfortable and "hanging" during the 3 weeks i don't see her.