Quote:
Originally Posted by want2talk
I am so depressed. I am not eating or sleeping. My self esteem is completely gone and I don't know what to do. My boyfriend blames everything on me and it hurts so bad because at times, I believe it is my fault. I have never been so hurt in my life. Everyone keeps telling me to cheer up or don't let it get to me, but these thoughts aren't in there heads. I want to get better so bad but I really don't know how. I am seeing a counselor but days after I see her it just gets worst. I can't function at home. All I want to do is lie and my bed. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me. I pray for God to take these feelings away from me but they keep getting worst. I don't know exactly what I am asking from the forum. I guess I just needed to get my feelings out in the open.
|
I know how painful it is to be depressed. I know the painful knot in your stomach that won't go away and keeps you from eating feels like it's going to be there forever. I know your brain won't "slow down" or "go to sleep" when you want to go to bed at night... depression is the worst feeling a human being can experience in my opinion.
I know you want to get better, and there is good news... you will. It sounds to me like your boyfriend isn't any good for you... I see this a lot, when a woman comes on these forums and wishes to keep her boyfriend/husband in her life simply because she doesn't want to be alone, even if he hurts her emotionally or physically, it bothers me so much.
I cannot tell you how to live your life or tell you what to do. But in my opinion I don't think any guy who berates and is critical of his girlfriend/wife is worth having in your life. Being alone can be painful but once you work through the loneliness and depression and know you can be independant and take care of yourself... finding the right guy in your life would make a huge difference in how you feel.
I hope you take care of yourself and get better soon *hugs*