I am successfully integrated. let me explain a bit -

for me it wasnt a choice that my alters and I could choose to do or not. where I am and with the therapist and psychiatrist I have, the mental health community believes integration is literally the process of mixing together, making whole, processing information.

every time you remember something your brain is processing that memory putting it together with the facts of your life.. example I always knew from the family taking I was allergic to thyme. but I never remembered the actual experience of going into the allergic reactions. one day I had a panic attack where I was having trouble breathing. the forgotten memory became "integrated" by coming to the surface where my therapist and I could deal with it.

here where I live and work it is believed integration is happening every time I go to therapy. I go to my therapist to talk over a problem and find solutions. whatever process we use my brain is putting the problem in perspective and putting the elements of that problem in order, and formulating solutions.

integration happens in my work place and in my home life. examples when a group of us get together to talk about work problems, family problems or just have fun together..

integration happens on an educational level too. the teachers teach their own individual lessons, the students brains take what they are learning and put it together to form the knowledge they need for their adult careers and life.

what Im saying is that I have learned integration is just a huge word that means putting things together. what is put together can be anything.. my breakfast, my daily plans, my problems, my emotions, my memories.. anything.

now you take this belief that mental health treatment providers have around here where I live and work and receive my therapy..

Pinky (alter) shares the memory of my being allergic to thyme with me during a panic attack. my brain took that information and put it together with the facts... my brother having to go for the doctor, while my parents did everything they could to keep the air going into my body. the doctors documentation of having to perform a tracheotomy on my parents kitchen table because there wasnt time to take me an hours drive to the nearest hospital. the hospital records stating all that they did to stabilize me and the allergy testing to find out what exactly caused the allergic reaction.

that memory is now integrated (remembered, put with the facts and processed with my therapists help.)

Pinky is still here inside of me, just like she was before my brain walled her off using dissociation because that night I thought I was going to die.

Pinky and I are now one whole person working together as a team for the best of me and my whole system.

DID alters cant die or go away forever. they were a part of you before you dissociated, they are a part of you and your system now that you are all separated, and when you all integrate they will still be there.