wow, your mom was sick and really violated you. i can understand your response to what you are going thru. its going to take a lot of exposure and self talk to get over it. maybe going bra shopping (without buying) several times over, telling yourself mom is not here, and has no power over you, you can get any bra you want, mom can no longer touch me, will eventually desensitize you to bra shopping.

as for the obgyn appts. I cant do them. the only time i have ever had them is when i was pregnant. i went 16 years without one, which wasnt good since i came up bad once and had cryosurgery after my second child, but i just cant bring myself to do it. when i was using a physicians assistant to try and get psych meds taken care of, she was nagging me to do one at every appt, so as i gained trust in her, i finally let her do one, but that was 4 years ago.

but you are not weak. you have reason to feel the way you do.