Well, not just wanted, but actually did that. Long long time ago, but still. I didn't want to kill anyone though, just hurt someone, anyone, so I SIed instead. Badly. I must say it didn't help even a tiny bit, just made things even more messy and f***ed up, so I seriously suggest to solve that in some other way. Talking to T is a good option, that was what I did. Eventually. Should've done sooner, but I was afraid she'd think I'm totally crazy and lock me up, which she didn't. It helped a lot to just tell someone that stuff and see a normal reaction. No overreaction, no underreaction (is that even a word? whatever, you get it), just pure profesional, no BS and "ok, so now we should do this and that" approach. Worked out quite well I must say.