I decided to dye my hair back to brown because I don't think that blonde hair suits me anymore and I would like to go back to my original colour. I was a bit excited because I remembered a character in a show I liked had the same colour hair and when I dyed it I would look like her. When I get excited about things, I get a strange feeling that's sort of like blushing but not exactly. I started getting that feeling and came to the realization that that character was a girl and I was enjoy thinking about a girl and now I'm even more terrified. I wasn't thinking about boys and I don't know how I feel about them anymore. I feel so gay and now I think I do just like girls and it's an obvious lie to say I like boys. It's as if I feel nothing for them. I still have a little bit of hope though from how this started- I started doubting myself when a girl called me a lesbian (no proof) and that before that I had always liked men and enjoyed the thought of someday being with one. Thinking about that makes me feel like there's a possibility that this really is just in my head and that makes me happy. But when I stop thinking about it and start doing my own stuff I come back to a realization like this and start feeling like a lesbian again. I have to constantly think about the evidence of me being straight beforehand to get any relief. Then I start thinking that all this does sound like denial. I'm not at all convinced that I'm straight or that I'm not lying to myself. I don't want to ever be but now it feels like I want to be with a girl and it's really pissing me off.