This thread is making me cry. Before I started therapy, I didn't WANT anyone to see me. I had created this persona that I used and that I wanted everyone to see. sometimes, every once in a great while, I would let my husband see, but was never sure that he liked the "inside" me. I had done therapy before in college, but again, it was for a specific purpose and I like my T, but never really connected.

My current T has totally f***ed with my head. It seems like he sees me and still likes and cares about me, and now I find myself YEARNING for that in my real life. And it sucks because my husband doesn't really see me and when he does, he reacts with . . . I don't even know the word. Fear? Dislike? suspicion? some combination of those things. I WANT more now and it's all my T's fault. And I feel like I'm NEVER going to get what I want. So I told my T that the new focus of my T is going to be on NOT WANTING stuff I cannot have and he says that won't happen. He says me not wanting what I want will require major drugs - like heroin. I am now wondering where I can get heroin, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't his point. hahaha