I feel the same way. I find life to be the most annoying freaking thing. It's too hard. I didn't get the necessary skills from my family to cope with certain things so, I guess I'm just f*cked in those areas.

I don't like ANYONE until they give me a notion that they are worthy of my time and attention. Which is also something I never got, so I have this selfishness that grew inside me. Like, okay, it's been years and it seems as though no one is going to pay me any mind, so, either I go insane, or I join them and start NOT caring. So, I do that, and now I'm some sort of a**hole to people.

I can't win, no matter what, and I'm tired of it all. I don't have the energy or the motivation, I just want people to get away from me. I wish I had no need for human interaction, but being human, it's something you crave. I'm an adult now, so I should let all that go, right? SORRY! I don't know how to! I never learned that skill!!!! So, go ahead and fault me, f**k it.

Sorry, for rambling, I just got anxious about this.