I am really sorry for what you are going through. For a woman to be ignored is one of the worst things that can happen to us. Remember you are a valuable person who deserves love and respect. I am just starting to believe this of myself instead of care taking everyone else. It takes time

It sounds to me like you are married to a child who takes no responsibility for anything. I know how hard it would be to lose your family though, that is why I keep working on things even though my husband is horribly abusive. at least we are professionals and he doesn't sit on his butt all day. You might try some support groups. There are often things for codependents in the community, They may be attached to churches, hospitals, or other community centers. There are also some community mental health services that are not so expensive. It sounds like you could disappear for a couple of hours and he wouldn't know the difference Remember this is not your fault