I feel like I am floating around the place all by myself, so disconnected from everything. I stand out on the porch having a smoke and look out towards the street, and the neighbourhood, but feel like the house is like Dorothy's in The Wizard of Oz- floating above the ground. My world is spinning. I am getting so tired. When people come to see me and to see how I am doing they see a strong, happy person who appears to be coping really well. But deep inside are the real feelings- the severe exhaustion, the total unhappiness, the person who just gets by each day by doing what needs to be done, and sometimes less. Is this what is meant by an alter? I am well used to dissociating- I have done it for years, and I have always hidden my 'true self' from everyone, but now, while my head is spinning so much, I feel I need to look further into this. I am just so lost, and I don't know which way to go next...