((((Karebear))))) For me, it has been need more than anything. My T gives me what I need for me to learn how to heal. The relationship is hard. It is not easy to walk into his office after a rupture. It is not easy to email him when I want only to shut down and shut him out. But I am rewarded for my trust. What he gives me is worth the risk and worth the bruises along the way. And I know he would never do a single thing to intentionally harm me. He does do things that hurt me. But it is about his intentions. And he rewards me when I am honest about our ruptures. He rewards me by not being angry with me or insulting me. He appologizes for mistakes he makes. And even when he did nothing wrong, if I am hurt, he appologizes for my pain.

It is ok to have the walls. Those walls saved us and they can keep us safe. What my T is showing me through the years is that we don't have to take down the walls at all. We just need to know how to build doors that are easy for us to open :-)