((((Penny))))

Think about what you just said about someone taking care of you being with someone strong.

Often what can happen with a victim, and they can be nursing some PTSD, is that they pick someone they think is strong, someone that in the beginning of the relationship shows strength and their kinda need for you fills another empty spot. The problem is your picking strength that is an abuser strength and you dont see that until your trapped.

Penny, I think that you should take time out of relationships and focus on yourself, building a strong relationship with your self. This is going to take you time Penny to work through this PTSD. And it was ok that you cried and let some things out. Glad you let it out here, think about what my response is. Run the courtship part with these abusers and think about what the attraction in the beginning was for you.
And think about what I am saying about your crying and asking for someone strong, strong enough to care for your needs. And you give 120%? You got nothing right? Now, you have to give to yourself.
That is something you have not learned how to do, you don't give yourself permission to do that YET, you have to learn how to do that.

(((Hugs)))

Open Eyes